Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Hey ya'll, Remember my last post? About contests? Well, today I just want to write a quick post and say thank you for helping my friend Eartha with the Biggest Accomplishment EVER: THEY WON!!!!!!!!!!!

Eartha and Jack got the most votes in the Kozy Shack contest, and now The Pudding Patrol is coming to their house, which is a prize in ITSELF. And then they get to choose an envelope and it could have ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN IT -- which means that Nashville will get an animal shelter! (See what good people they are? If I won a million dollars, I'd buy shoes and old furniture and name brand hairspray instead of the cheap stuff and junk like that.)

I am so excited for my friends, and so excited that I happen to be in their hometown tonight and get to celebrate with them! So wherever you are, raise a glass, eat some pudding, and pat yourselves on the backs and know that I am so thankful to all of you for helping my friends' dream come true. YAY!!!



Sunday, September 12, 2010


Hi everybody!

Okay, you know how it was my New Year's Resolution to win a contest? Guess what. I DID!!!

I entered a Batter Blaster contest! Have you ever heard of Batter Blaster? It's AWESOME -- Organic pancake mix in a CAN. (A recyclable can, FYI.) I know that sounds gross, but I swear, it isn't. It's DELICIOUS. And it keeps winning prizes for innovation and tastiness... and the best part? You can FINALLY make decent Mickey Mouse pancakes. (Personally, I prefer stars.)

star pancake

So I won a Batter Blaster Party pack: coupons for delicious Batter Blaster (it's refrigerated, so it's not like they can send cans), Batter Blaster tee shirts for the whole family, aprons, hats, balloons and magnets. I was stoked! Check them out:

Batter Blaster!

They even have a cute theme song. I heart Batter Blaster!

But here is something I heart even more, and is way important. My dear friend Eartha Kitsch has entered a contest for Kozy Shack Pudding. If she wins, the PUDDING PATROL COMES TO HER HOUSE. Which is super awesome. But what's even MORE awesome and inspiring is that if she wins the grand prize of A MILLION DOLLARS (to be said in a Dr. Evil tone of voice), she is opening an animal shelter in Nashville, TN. Here are her words:

Today, I read this on our neighborhood internet board and feel so sad. I am amazed and so glad that the lady stopped to save the pup as so many people would never get involved. ...At the same time, I am so saddened by constantly hearing of these stories in my city - and all over. I ask you from the bottom of my heart to ...please vote for us as often as you can. If we can win the grand prize of a million dollars, we can start our animal rescue and do so much good for the animals that need us. Here is the post that I am referring to:

"I am an elementary school teacher and today as I was leaving school, I saw two boys beating a puppy. They were holding her by her tail and hitting her with their fists and sticks. I immediately got out of my car, yelled at the boys and took the puppy. She has no tags and has obviously not been cared for. Sheis a lab with white around her neck and on her nose. She
is very good natured and playful! I honestly can NOT keep this
puppy. I already have a dog and live in a tiny place
for a puppy! If anyone wants a puppy or is willing to help find her a
home, please let me know!!!! Thanks!"

Not only do the circumstances of that poor pup sadden me but also what must be going on in the lives of those children. It's well proven that children who harm animals quite often grow up to harm people as well. With all of my heart, I want to be able to have the funding to get out there and not only rescue and find homes for the abandoned and abused animals but also, it would be such a great service to try and set up a program to talk to children about animal cruelty.

I feel kind of weird asking for votes this way but reading that post fueled my desire to be able to help - and in a big way. Thanks y'all. Eartha

So please vote for Eartha! there are only 3 days left, and you can vote each day -- and for every vote, Kozy Shack donates ten cents to The National Coalition For Women With Heart Disease. So just one click a day helps so many... and YOU feel ACCOMPLISHED!

Please vote for Eartha, won't you?

Earthakitch Kozy Shack!

And honestly, she DOES have the best photo:


Thanks, everybody!

But seriously, I'm STILL waiting for Ed McMahon. Sigh.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Accomplishment #38: Get a Job (#75)

My very first job, fittingly enough, was volunteering at a thrift shop in junior high. My mom made me join a charity organization where we did things like meet and eat cookies and write letters to old people and work at the organization's thrift store, all things that looked great on college applications and bettered the community. While my pre-teen cohorts thought it was stinky and weird, I looooved it. I loved looking through the donation bags and ringing up 10 cent sales, and I especially loved bringing home kooky vintage clothes and old books, and my mom couldn't protest because she was the one who made me do it in the first place. (See? My path of weirdness was ALL MY MOM'S FAULT.)

My second job was a one day stint. In 9th grade, my friend's dad worked for Coca Cola, and a new product was being tested on the market -- a little thing called "Diet Coke." (Fittingly enough.) He told us that he would give us $50 if we went to grocery stores and gave out little samples in Dixie Cups to get people interested. That sounded great, but the day before my shift, I went to Santa Cruz and got a sunburn so bad I barfed and blistered, and even more painful -- I had to wear all white, so I had to borrow a pair of my mom's white polyester pants. I thought I was going to die as I stood there for 8 hours, sick and miserable, looking like a giant Diet Coke can all sunburned in white polyester and listening to people tell me that it tasted like "swill." I cried the whole way home, but later happily spent my $50 on junk like Oingo Boingo records and Maybelline lip gloss. He never called us to do it again -- obviously Diet Coke took off and didn't need sunburned, poly-clad teenagers handing out samples in Dixie Cups. (Too bad. The money was awesome.)

Later on in high school I got a job in a cool bookstore cafe, and worked in other bookstores all through college and beyond. (Even though I had all that nice stuff on my college applications about volunteering, I still went ahead and chose ENGLISH as a major, aka -- "Do what you love, but the money sure as hell won't follow." And then I went and did it AGAIN, getting an MFA, aka, "Do what you love, but the money sure as hell won't follow -- but Sallie Mae sure as hell will." Sigh.) And that Saturday afternoon thrift shop volunteering paid off -- I worked in a vintage store for many years, too.

Now I've had the same job for several years and I really do like it, but a while ago, I realized that it would be awfully nice to have some pocket money, too. (That darn Sallie Mae and her friend Visa. They sound so nice, but they aren't!) I'd like to say that I decided to rely heavily on my MFA and mad skillz and get paid for writing, but considering this is my 3rd blog post in a year, we all know how that's working out. Of course I'd like to win the lottery, but there's a big problem with that -- you actually have to play the lottery. (Though one time I won $6.) And Ed McMahon is dead, so no one's going to show up at my door with a big check and balloons.

You'd think if they won millions of dollars, they'd invest in better hairdos.

A few years ago, I was watching "The American Experience" on PBS and there was a show about Brownie Wise, the woman who revolutionized Tupperware. She was fabulous. Chic and chapeauxed, she made selling plastic at parties sound like the best thing since patented air-tight seals. And oohhh, the Tupperware! Who knew that keeping food fresh for longer could be so fun and fabulous? And save you money? AND you could go to parties where you get to eat delicious snacks and shop AT THE SAME TIME? AND MAKE MONEY OR GET FREE TUPPERWARE? "Anyone want to have a Tupperware party?" I asked my friends. "Um, NO," was the reply, which burped the air right out of my sails.

Then a few months ago, a friend posted something on facebook, saying she needed to do something, too -- Tupperware or Avon -- and I thought, "Finally! Someone's into it!" I responded that I'd love to do it, and then my gay homecoming date from my senior year college (yeah, I know, but actually ALL of my homecoming dates in college were gay) put us in touch with a director, a fabulous drag queen named Dixie Longate. (Emphasis on the "Dix," darlings.) And thus, a Tupperware Empire was born!

After we met Dixie via phone and got our samples (ooohhh, the samples!), we needed to channel Brownie Wise's fabulosity and get "uniforms":

Tupperware!  Spring 2010

So our custom made dresses were made by the amazing Martha Egan, one of my most favorite local designers -- she is simply wonderful! Check out her etsy shop:
Poppy Frockstar (convo her for requests!)

It was perfect -- here was a way to wear a Martha Egan dress and roll the whole "Mid-Century Supper Club Potluck" into a roaming party! I loved the whole slant of making it Mid-Century (with my friends, that isn't hard), but also, as I discovered when I got my sample kit in the mail -- Tupperware is REALLY GOOD STUFF. Not kidding. I can't believe I wasted all those years and dollars on crummy Gladware. Yuck!)

But then it was time to have a real party, which was actually a little scary. It's all fun and good to talk about it, but getting up and doing it is pretty daunting. So we had a trial one at my house with friends and it turned out to be super fun:

Fantastic plastic!

audience participation
Audience Participation with Jennye demonstrating THE BEST CAN OPENER IN THE UNIVERSE

And then we were off into the world!
Tupperware!  Spring 2010
Chips sold separately

Tupperware!  Spring 2010
Brownie would be proud

Tupperware!  Spring 2010
One of the best things is that everyone gets into the Mid-Century Spirit!

AND we got to meet our mentor, Dixie Longate! (Who is nice as can be and a terrific boss.)

Tupperware!  Spring 2010
And here she is, showing off the AMAZING Vent'n'Serve. And the colors are Peacock and Meadow. How divine is that?

So yes, I am an Official Tupperware Lady. And I even have the badge to prove it!

from Liana Kabel on etsy

I must admit -- at first I thought it would be a lark, something kitschy and campy and vintage-y to do, but I discovered that I really, really like it. To get up in front of a crowd and present and sell something is more than a little daunting, but to be honest, even though I get super, super nervous and forget to breathe at first, I think it's fun. And once it gets going it's especially fun when people are engaged and talk and participate -- and with Tupperware, it's super easy to do. (And when there's a combo of cocktails and T-ware, it gets REALLY crazy and fun!) Plus I've gotten to go to so many cute houses, and have met the nicest people and have had such a blast!

I even got a shout out on one of my most favorite blogs, Strawberry Lemonade!!! (Speaking of meeting the nicest people -- Alex is a DREAM.) Tupperware Party on Strawberry Lemonade!

And I'm not kidding, Tupperware is AWESOME. It goes so beyond what is normally thought of as "Tupperware." I was so surprised and impressed -- "Tupperware" always gets lumped into one big category of any plastic container in which you put leftovers. SO NOT TRUE. Not only is it stronger and more durable than those containers you get in the grocery store, it's safer, too -- in a recent Good Housekeeping test, Tupperware came out on top as having the lowest level of BPA emissions out of any product in the market. Not only that, it cuts down on landfill by eliminating the need for plastic bags and plastic wrap and bottles by being re-usable and sustainable. AND it saves you money -- by buying in bulk food is cheaper, plus it doesn't go bad as quickly if you store it in Tupperware, and you wind up eating it all instead of letting it turn into a gooey mess in your fridge drawer. How genius is that?

Plus it's CUTE:

Tupperware!  Spring 2010
Doesn't it go great with barkcloth??? And look at that cute avocado!

And there is sooooo much good stuff -- the Quick Chef is the coolest thing I've ever used -- it's a "manual" food processor, and I swear, I have not shed a tear since I've gotten it, thus saving me money on mascara! And the Fridge Smarts... I had spinach for over 2 weeks that STAYED FRESH, and strawberries that lasted DAYS. And the Vent'n'Serve containers are so good -- they heat up leftovers (another money saver!) perfectly. And the BEST Can Opener EVER that unseals rather than cuts, and the Cupcake Carrier carries your cupcakes with style and grace (and they don't end up in the street, which has happened to me TWICE)and the Squeeze It Decorator makes deviled eggs a dream come true... Sigh. See? I'm not kidding. It sounds like I drank the Kool-Aid, but I drank it from a Tupperware Tumbler (with vodka)and I am hooked and happy!

You, too, can be hooked and happy:

My Tupperware Website!

Click to check it out, shop or if you want to have a party, message me and I'll be happy to help!

I even have a FACEBOOK FAN PAGE. (Okay, everyone's CAT has a facebook fan page so it's not THAT special and I made it myself, but still... LIKE it!)

Most people would say that they've come a looong way since their first jobs, but you know, I really haven't. I still like to meet and eat cookies and wear kooky and fun clothes with a vintage spin, and give away samples and sell great stuff and drink a lot of Diet Coke. And, well, I still spend my hard earned cash on junk like Oingo Boingo records and Maybelline lip gloss. (Sigh.) And then write all about it later. So okay, maybe I've got arrested development or I could go with that I knew exactly who I was when I was 12, but you know -- doing what you love may not get money to follow, but doing what you love is an Accomplishment. And I'll definitely go with that.

And if I don't ever have to wear white polyester again, I'll be even happier.

Thirty-eight down, 59 to go.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Something special for YOU!

Okay, I know, I haven't posted because;

A. I am lazy
B. I am BEYOND lazy
c. I am the laziest person ever in the history of lazy people.

But one thing I have been working on is one of my New Year's Resolutions: to win a contest. I have entered at least TWO contests this year, and I am still waiting for my winning phone call. Sigh.

But my dear friends, I have a contest for YOU! My dear friend Eartha Kitsch has a birthday today, and in commemoration she has started a blog (I have been waiting for this day for AGES) and as a "blogwarming," she is having a contest with fantastic prizes!

And trust me, the girl knows fantastic prizes. Not only did she send me a box of kitchmas this weekend, she also sent me home from my last visit with her with this:

Rollin' With My Gnomies, Nashville April 2010

You see, all of my garden gnomes were gnomenapped earlier this year and I am STILL mourning. (You can say what you will about the Gnome Liberation Army and all that, but my gnomes were well loved and cared for and they loved me and now they are somewhere unfamiliar and SCARED and I hate the people who took them and I blame the gnomenappers for lack of blog posts.) Eartha knew this and gave a new friend. His name is Waffles. So how could you NOT want to enter a contest and follow a blog run by such a lovely lady? I promise, you'll love her as much as I do.

Check out Ranch Dressing With Eartha Kitsch!

So see? This is an Accomplishment -- I have given you the gift of Eartha Kitsch!

More later, darlings! Enjoy and good luck!

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Good God, how is it almost MAY? The year is halfway over, and I have yet to win a contest (and I even entered one!) or update my blog.

Oh, but I will. You should just SEE my accomplishments. For example:

I have worn a different outfit every day for over 30 days. Yes, I did. It's mostly in order to justify the junk I have in my closet, to break out of my jeans and tee shirt rut, and to make sure I don't buy any more clothes. Clearly I have too many.

I have done the Wii Fit exactly 3 times all year. It reprimands me when I step on the power board, so I'm scared of it. And I've gained 5 pounds.

I just burned the roof of my mouth by eating a too hot fried egg. Sigh.

Actually, there is one that I've been working on in earnest, so stay tuned! (And thanks for staying with me if you have. xoxo)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Happy New Year!!!

Whoo HOO!!! HAPPY 2010!!! PAR-TAY!

Whoops. I'm even a little late for that. Geez, we've even had another holiday since then, aka High Holy Day, aka Elvis Presley's Birthday. It would have been his 75th. And I was totally hoping that The Cosmos would have aligned and by some fluke this would have been my 75th blog post and we all could have freaked out and said, "No way!" but... not even close. Sigh. Sorry, Elvis. I haven't been TCB-ing. (That would be "Takin' Care of Business," one of Elvis's mottoes and many a tattoo and tacky jeweled medallion.)

This photo is astounding and I don't know what it has to do with this entry, but when I googled "TCB" this is what came up. I mean THIS is serious business being taken care of. Elvis, Jack Lord, and some lady in a crazy, fabulous outfit. From the great wfmu blog:

So yeah, it is that time of year to make resolutions, and I made 3:

1. To win a contest (Any contest, preferably no purchase or skill needed)
2. To update the blog more
3. I already forgot the third one, because that was 9 days ago.

I'm at the point in my blog where I actually have to PLAN stuff. I can't just wake up and do #71, Understand How A Farm Works. I need to find a farm. (And no, I don't mean Boone's Farm Wine. I already learned how it works in college: open bottle, drink, tell everyone you love them and offer people sips, barf, wake up the next day and vow never to drink again... on a Tuesday night during Finals.) I have to FIND a Mountain To Climb (#47). And I have to (#83) Learn Basic Car Maintenance super fast, because my rear tire has a slow leak and I've been too cheap to buy a new tire, and I don't think that's wise. (I suppose I will find out, hmmm?) There is just so much to do, and alll I've been doing is this:

Season's Greetings!

That's right. I got Snuggie-fied for Christmas. It's a dangerous. cozy, cozy thing. The main Accomplishment, once you are Snuggied, is to get from the couch to kitchen without tripping and falling and breaking your teeth.

But I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am still dedicated and will be posting in the new year. After all, the book is called "97 Things To Do Before You Finish High School," right? And high school is 4 years long. I've got PLENTY of time. I didn't want to be an old acquaintance you all forgot and never brought to mind or on your blog list and all that Auld Lang Syne stuff.

And I wanted to wish you all a happy, happy new year and I look forward to "seeing" you all in 2010!